Ten things I’m thankful for

To me it’s important to be thankful all year round, not just around the Holidays. To always know when you’ve got gold, even if you’re negative numbers otherwise. It’s a balancing act between appreciating what you do have, acknowledging the struggles you’re incurring, and knowing there are people worse than you living throughout the world. So as you slap a bird or ham on the table this year, consider your blessings no matter how little they are.

Here are ten things I’m feeling grateful for this Thanksgiving:

1)      Memories of standing in sands of the Oregon coast; feeling the cold water splash on my ankles, as the pounding tides rolled in.

 2)      Having a roof over my head, that doesn’t involve insect infestations, drafty windows, or a river of water that runs across the basement floor.

3)       Not wanting (nor expecting) an overpriced car, ugly diamond jewelry, or an obnoxiously big TV (80 inches, seriously?) for Christmas.

 4)      Memories of walking the streets of Chicago Black Friday night, in three inch heels, arm in arm with my favorite gay man on our way to see Tori Amos. So healthy and happy then I was completely unaffected by the 20 degree weather.

5)      For having two parents who worked tirelessly to provide for me and my brother, and fought the odds stacked against their interracial love, which has endured 35 years.

6)      Opening the fridge and always seeing food in it. Despite it all, I’ve never known what it meant to be hungry (except when I was intentionally starving myself to get to 120 lbs).

7)      The heat seeking missile that is my girl kitty. No matter where she is in the house she always knows when I’m lying in bed with the heating pad on.

 8)      The little open arms of my niece and nephew that are always extended to me as a greeting.

 9)      For iTunes, and the plethora of artists whose music keeps me from hitting emotional rock bottom on a weekly basis. Music is truly my best friend.

 10)  For finding the strength to continue to chase my dreams, no matter how remote they seem.

My Current Anthem:

There comes a time
A time in everyone’s life
When nothing seems to go their way
When nothing seems to turn out right
There may come a time
You just can’t seem to find your place
For every door you open
Seems like you get two slammed in your face

That’s when you need someone
Someone that you can call
When all your faith is gone
It feels like you can’t go on
Let it be me
Let it be me
If it’s a friend you need
Let it be me
Let it be me

Give Into Fall

Golden Leaves

Like ever flowing tide that washes in, then back out…every season is a chance to be renewed again. Fall is bittersweet season for most Americans, as the summer fun comes to an end and school begins, but this year I welcome the change. It’s been one of the hottest & driest years on record in the Midwest and quite frankly my personal life hasn’t been much better. I’ve grown weary of the sound of clicking fans, electric bills the size of some people’s BMW car payments, mosquito bites, and nonstop sweating.  While many use the New Year holiday as a the quintessential marker of change and reflection, I find that every season offers a prime chance to evaluate the most recent past. What has worked in your life this summer? Also consider what have you learned, how have you changed, and what can you improve on in your life?

Drunken Peach Rosemary Pork Recipe

A recipe I put together experimenting with wine and a jar of Peaches about to expire.  The peach flavor gives a slightly sweet edge, perfectly pairing with the white wine, and Rosemary…she’s always invited to the white meat party! Full recipe behind the link:

Drunken Peach Rosemary Pork

Humbled by a sunset

Oregon Coast Sunset

September will be my one year anniversary of seeing the ocean for the first time.  It’s still a time I think about almost every day, a trip of a lifetime with my parents to the Oregon Coast. Growing up we didn’t have summer vacations, while my friends would take off to Florida every year, we stayed home. My parents owned a landscape company, and part of every Summer I worked in the yards of rich people.

In The Church Of Music (Free Music)

In my house, Sunday mornings are generally spent going to the church of music, as I am not religious in any way. While most look to connect to God, Jesus, or Yahweh, I prefer to connect with myself on a day where it feels like the Earth moves a little slower. For nearly 5 years I worked both Saturday and Sunday; I was often out of the house by 7:00 AM so there were no sitting in your PJs, drinking coffee,  type weekend mornings.  Going without the quiet Sunday morning for so long has given me a chance to genuinely appreciate weekend mornings in my current life.  I love listening to one of my many iTunes playlists as a quiet -TV Free- morning unfolds, and decided to share one my lists I put in heavy rotation.

Life of Mad Libs

Over the past several months, I’ve been working harder to be more candid about my life/health situation. Historically, I go the route of saying nothing, and pretending that I’m fine/flat out lying on questions surrounding my life like, “how are you” and “what have you been up to?” So this sharing my business deal is a new concept for me, and it’s not really going well. In a recent conversation with friends (who I had not seen in a year, but spoken to online recently), they asked me what concerts I had been to – I said, “None.”
They were surprised given my love of music, I simply said, Yeah, I haven’t been feeling well so I haven’t been doing much of anything.”
{Sound of crickets}
I would have been happy with a simple “I understand that,” response vs dead air.

Basil Lime Fish Marinade

YUM!

In an effort to cut back on how much red meat I eat, I’ve been looking to extend my dinner choices with fish. Growing up I mainly ate fried fish, but since my weight is a concern, it’s time to take up another approach – Grilled Fish. I’m not a big salmon/tuna fish eater, so I stick to mild white flaky genres (Trader Joe’s White Ruffy is one of my favorites – as it has zero fish smell and is super affordable). Since the fish flavor is mild, seasoning becomes more important to impart taste. I didn’t want to do the classic blackened, as I eat it out at restaurants regularly; so I tried all sorts of store bought concoctions of so called marinade – with many failures (and grill fires), then I tried the old lemon pepper…which was a flavor snooze.  When I ran out of ideas and only had some limes, an a abundance of basil in the yard, this recipe was born. The combination of lime and basil is an unlikely pair, but adds a great flavor to any mild white fish. 

Cherry Coloured Funk

“That heart’s black and dull as the night” – Cherry Coloured Funk by the Cocteau Twins

Some days seem to run into each other; for me, a bad day did not wash away in the morning. Around 10:00 PM last night, I was relaxing by watching Mad Men and painting my toes.  Doing my nails in bed is a common occurrence (I’ve never gone for a manicure/pedicure – e v e r), but last night I was so distracted by Don Draper I managed to spill 1/3 of my red nail polish onto my [3 week old] sheets. I was mortified as I watched the thick red paint instantly evaporate into my fitted bed sheet; as if it was thirsty from all the hot weather. Instantly, I began blotting the stain and ripping the sheet off the bed, where I noticed it had also seeped thru to my waterproof mattress cover. Dumping the sheets in my bathroom sink I attempted to wash out the stain…instead I managed to also make a cherry mess of my sink – which was freshly cleaned just earlier in the day. Things weren’t looking good and I was high as kite from huffing nail polish/remover – so I called in the specialist, Mom. She tried making a paste of 2 different kinds of soap, followed by more nail polish remover and Gojo – it all was a no go. At 11 PM I called it quits, dumping the sheets in the washer to soak overnight – and hoping the stains would at least be lighter in the morning.  Tired, hot, frustrated, with 4 out of 10 toenails painted and 10 minutes into the 1^st episode of season 4– I turned off the tv and called it quits for the night. Well, so much for relaxing before bed.

When the dust settles

Photograph by Andreea Chiru

After 6 months of battling my health and being on FMLA, I’ve decided to resign from job (assuming I still had it). In closing out this phase of my life, I’ve been cleaning, packing, and saying goodbyes. The whole process of quitting has been stirring up quite a bit of dust; emotionally, and physically.

10 things that have kept me Sane the last 6 months

Errr….should I say SOMEWHAT sane. The last 6 months have been difficult for me, but these are some things that I think helped me get thru it all.

1. My best friend & companion, Tabitha. An all black kitty with a lovable honeriness, who without her entertainment and companionship; I would be far lonelier and seriously bored.

Tabitha Sunning

2. Music. Everything from Soundtracks to Electronica, helped keep my mood in check and actually consider that brighter things may be to come (see my youtube player below for a sampling of songs). PJ Harvey’s Let England Shake was an album that really became the soundtrack of my life. It was great to play while doing geneology research, as the album is centered on history and with the videos released for each song, a great visual story was created. The whole concept of this album became very much the inspiration of number 6 below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-bGyX6946o&feature=autoplay&list=PL2B667BCEDA0155F7&index=2&playnext=1